Through the eyes of a child

When you return home after a deplorably bad day at work…just a regular circus day at work… juggling deadlines, a barrage of e-mails, some personal egos, few conflicts and regular ‘must-do’ calls/meetings…you almost feel like a warrior returning to her shelter after the day battle ends at sunset….tomorrow you know you need to go out there and start another battle…there is just enough time to take stock of the damage, nurse your wounds and beef up your motivation to face the opponent…

And then suddenly two tiny arms welcome you home…there she is innocently grinning and taking me  into her Shangri-la…you feel a surprising lightness and ‘nothingness’ when you indulge in her silly little peek-a-boo games….you feel a sheepish embarrassment as you sing nursery rhymes and meekly obey her orders to do some atrocious acts like springing up and down….but few minutes into this make-shift play and you forget the battles that you left behind in the meeting room…you are forced to let go of that urge to beat up a colleague who picked a fight with you…you feel ‘in-the-moment’ and rooted to the concept of home.

And as your mind races to the Herculean tasks hidden in your appraisal carpet..to that flurry of escalations trapped in your mailbox…you see her seriously going about her tasks and duties…...dedicated attempts to build monuments or in other words simply piling a few building blocks…sincere house cleaning exercise but what it essentially is walking with a broom-look alike in all corners of the house…. guiding and mentoring a monkey cuddly toy…and in her mind she is ‘at work’..she is playing her role to the best of her ability..meeting and beating expectations…and you can’t help but break into a smile as you realize that it’s just a perception…what you assume is the world’s most important job assigned to you is ‘child’s play’ for another..and what you presume is a silly child’s play is her most important task for the day…a little bit of role play does help… maybe the management gurus were right after all?

Love in the days of FB

I guess my anti-‘mushiness’ rears its ugly head each Valentine’s day and I just can’t seem to understand or participate in the all red and white and pink frenzy around Valentine’s Day!

Sadly CUPID is out of work in this FB driven ‘love’ recession…all the communication is handled on the so-called ‘wall’ and ‘public’ messages in FB…the lover professes his deep love over the internet and the thousands of members of this FB fraternity have to bear witness to this profound moment in two individuals’ lives! Come on people, remember the word ‘social media’?? It’s just that…a way to interact with society in the fast digital ‘no-time’ days…! It’s not the place for whispering sweet nothingness…not the place for a husband to suddenly realize his wife is the best woman on earth and the stage for that declaration..not your prayer hall where you express gratitude to god for your picture perfect family and godly children….and for your information – GOD may not be reading those FB posts for all you know??

WE love to associate all surreal emotions with material things and I guess our marketing and manufacturing giants have successfully cultivated that relationship..can you imagine Valentine’s day without red roses? Without chocolates? Without diamonds? Without that special dinner voucher? Thanks to years of successful marketing, that association is so strong that it is part of human emotion to expect a flower, a date, a gift to honour and ‘complete’ a Valentine day! Did good old Valentine ever imagine that his death would be converted into such a global ‘super sales’ day?

And imagine if there was a global network outage on Valentine’s day..there would certainly be a great deal of love lost in that outage! Would people have plan B to still go ahead and display that over-abused term called love? Can you communicate real love without use of heart emoticons, without a delivery of roses, without buying that 50% off diamonds? Sometimes all you have to do is put down that device and walk up to your partner and just listen to your favourite song …sometimes all you need is a tight hug from your little child..sometimes all you need is to see that bright smile when you help your parents with a task..love has much more than ’50 virtual shades’!

Some deaths are more equal

This is not in support or condemnation of the Charles Hebdo incident but more an introspection of our attitude towards crime and death…

From the milk that we drink to the ‘health food’ that we eat to the ‘greens’ that we feed our children, we hear of the horror stories of poison and contamination! Each of us are having a slow death through the food we eat and horrifically, we are also slowly killing our children with ounces of poison on a daily basis…and yet for this issue which affects every single person amongst the billion+ population of India-  no candle light march, no Facebook campaign, not even a media movement has been undertaken to rid the country of these evils.

The country’s roads and traffic rules are in shambles and each time we step on the road, you are never assured of reaching you destination…if you are a pedestrian; chances of you being beaten down by a motor bike on the footpath is immensely high..if you are a bike rider; chances of you being crushed by a rickety government bus cannot be ruled out…if you are driving a car; chances of a cow jump followed by a fatal swerve are oddly against you…And these probabilities are so certain and yet we do not have a nationwide campaign to address traffic violations….simple civilized rules to follow traffic signal and follow lane discipline could avoid thousands of deaths on our roads….Take this a step further and think about the horrendously placed speed breakers and humps on our roads….some of them marked..some unmarked…some unscientific..some of Himalayan heights….creating some crucial life-death instances on the road. To add to that is our extremely difficult judicial and policing systems…given a choice no Samaritan would like to take a bleeding person to the hospital..no law abiding citizen would like to report an accident to the police…all adding up to a fatal network of roads and infrastructure that kills more people than connect them together.

Take the state of our health care system and we may need to hang our head in shame..How many of us would like to step into a government run hospital in case of an illness? Wouldn’t we prefer to burn holes in our pocket and seek help from the ‘professional’ network of hospitals? Despite being funded and managed by the government, the state of such hospitals are deplorable not to mention the scary stories of deaths in such hospitals…And even if the well heeled amongst us have access to the best healthcare facilities in the country..are we sure that the treatment given to us is what it is supposed to be? Are we sure that the organs that we owned before the surgery is intact when we step out of the operation theatre?

These are the fundamental rights to living…we can’t anticipate death from the food we eat, the medicines we intake and definitely not from a simple stroll down the neighbourhood ally. And yet in our country chances of such deaths are so high and yet we are immuned to this risk…and almost have come to terms with it as part of our living.

Our countrymen would rise up and show solidarity for the journalists killed in Paris…the whole world is spinning around this horror story..How can one life be more precious than the other? These same countrymen have been through the worst brutal killings in the past few years and yet where is the strength..where is the empathy..where is the solidarity against such killings?

We have the time to introspect on the evils of a 3 hour movie on the entire generation and to violently react against such ‘influence’ but we cannot spare a moment to assess the damage of the ‘posion’ that we eat on a daily basis let alone the time or the energy to protest…an irony that definitely beats my sense of logic! 

Two weeks into the new year

There is something very nice and fresh about looking forward to a new year…almost like unwrapping a your birthday gift...a feeling of hope, happiness and a great deal of curiosity bundles you up in that one moment…

Probably two weeks into the new year is that stage where you have set yourself a great deal of expectations and each day unravels itself over the year to finally confirm whether that gift that you finally received was just as you expected, or absolutely better or  bitterly lesser!

And as you get used to writing 2015 in all the documentation and mentally compute how many years of existence you complete this year, it’s always inevitable that you look back into the year that was. And yes last year was no scarlet year in my life…definitely not mind blowing or life altering! I didn’t achieve anything that would differentiate me from the rest of humanity on earth….I didn’t have the courage to follow all my crazy dreams..I didn’t go to that Guitar class that I promised myself at the start of the year.. I couldn’t stop my natural impatience outbursts that I had wanted to wipe myself off…and the list never ends.

But all that guilt aside, I did make a move from my snug and comfort zone into a frying pan of another job..almost a plunge rather than a move..hoping that I grip this opportunity than let it go…and 2015 will be part two of that rollercoaster ride…whether there are more curves or bumps or some smooth sailing is something the year will tell me.. I did miraculously survive the role of playing mother to a toddler who progressed from babbling to clear and concise communication patterns…I did finally visit the land of my dreams and knit together a fabric of travel experiences that will stay with me for lifetime…so maybe it wasn’t all that bad?

And more than appraising myself for the last year maybe I should just say a silent prayer for simply being able to write this blog this year….simply be grateful that I was not in that Uber cab on a late night ride…that I was not at Church Street at the evening of the blast…that I was not on that fatal Malaysian airlines flight..sometimes the joy of a new year comes in simply being alive and be able to scream Happy New Year!

There’s something about Xmas

As the cheerful red of Santa costumes and cute Santa caps spreads across town..as small, medium, large and extra large sized Christmas trees rise up in houses, malls and corners of town…as the mini twinkle to the maxi flash of stars smile across various streets and roads of the neighbourhood…the inevitable holiday bug bites you…regardless of the truckloads of work piled at work, regardless of the heaps of domestic chores and to-dos mounted at home!

Maybe it’s the fantasy effect of the various feel- good Santa-based Hollywood movies that I have watched since childhood..maybe it’s just the relaxation that engulfs when you know that the hard,  stressed out and burnt out year is coming to a close..maybe it’s simply the effect of years of Christmas holidays that run in your blood…whatever the maybe for it, come Xmas time and you can’t help humming to the jingle bell score and getting sucked into the festivities regardless of your corporate, personal or ‘home’ status!

So this Christmas I too took out the bright red dresses in the closet, the musty Christmas cap and downed the spirit of Xmas in a sumptuous Christmas brunch turned to lunch and finally to evening tea time…breads, cheesy dips, mousse and cakes that definitely brought up my Christmas quotient in leaps and bounds..rounded off with a walk through the gigantic Indian equivalent of ‘European’ look-alike sparkling Xmas trees and decorations of the season!

It is but natural that the political class of this country must poke their noses and stoke the communal fires during any such festivities and Xmas proved no exception to the rule…but that I guess shouldn’t dampen our spirits and lets still scream out Ho Ho Ho and get ready for the burst of cheer for the new year…I am counting and waiting and smiling as I gape at the next milestone called New years Eve!

The Dark Ages

Another cab rider..another girl raped…another investigation…another set of lapses identified…and its ‘déjà vu’ time….yet again and again in this country that is looking up to ‘ache din’!

As time moves on, as generations take over, we are moving into more oppressiveness..more curtailment and more ‘freedoomless’ womanhood in this country. How do I raise a daughter in this dark cloud of insecurity? How do I confidently take up challenges at workplace when my mind is occupied with more fear and more thoughts than ever before? WE have the energy and the clout to deal with the ‘so-called’ sentiment hurting phenomenon..stemming from lewd lyrics..stemming from a painting or two..stemming from a movie shot on some obscure character.. But we cannot find the focus and the need to stem this bloody ‘free for all’ men’s phenomenon!

What is it that drives these perverted men to ogle, tease, molest and rape women, children and infants as they choose? Who has granted them the birthright to freely pass comments on anything in a skirt? What makes them think that a woman who walks out late night or dressed in a garb of her choice is ‘available’ for rape and literally ‘manhandling’?

If we are infested with the large number of savage men that perform these rituals given an opportunity, then a mass scale ‘pesticide’ is our only option…Our laws need to act fast and act with strength..there is no difference between homicide and rape and both should result in death penalty! And for those ‘eve teasers’ and ‘pleasure seeking’ men on the road, in buses and in crowded places, every touch and every comment should be punished…these are the men who get more courageous and finally plunge themselves into more crimes as the opportunity unfolds..! Let the law and the courts provide the basic protection that it is meant to provide – simple legal action for wrongdoing…no rocket science involved here? Each time a man thinks of groping ..he should think twice about the consequences and if we can bring that fear into that man then law has done its job!

And as for the boys who are toddling and crawling in our households today, we should spend our energies in raising them as men who talk about ‘respect’ and not ‘reservation’ for woman! We need a society of men who do not go on a ‘fault finding mission’ each time a crime is committed against women – not identify frivolous causes of rape – length of the skirt, shade of the saree, the place of crime and all things miscellaneous instead simply admit that crime was committed and needs to be punished. And if our houses can bring up sons who believe in the fact that women are just as in need of freedom, growth and opportunities ..that they do not need a whip to ‘domesticate’ them or a ‘cage’ to protect them ..then maybe we have a future!

Jobless in Goa

When one is ‘technically unemployed’ and totally jobless and when that someone lands in Goa..its quite a magical combination….!! Yes, Goa is lot like Kerala…yes Goa is absolutely ruthless when it comes to its heat and scorching sun…but there is a certain something in the air of Goa that makes you a carefree nomad! The words ‘carefree’ and ‘merrymaking’ were perhaps invented to describe Goa and Goans!

And our first stop at Panjim was just as I always imagined in my mind….a beautiful heritage room to stay in…adorned with Portuguese relics, ancient wooden pieces of furniture…sheer aesthetic brick & mortar beauty. And to add to that glory were the colourfully outstanding Goan houses in the adjoining streets….a colourfully orchestrated visual medley of houses that is probably for me the true heart of Goa.

We hopped on to a tiny bike and started wobbling our way through Goan roads exploring and enjoying the journey (perhaps more than the destination)….And those joyous rides were made more cheerful with the blue sea and greenery following us in our twists and turns!

The first inevitable stop was Calangute beach..the signature crowded touristy beach of Goa where every tourist must go and pay his/her respect..and we were blessed with a sun set evening in Calangute with its ‘Baywatch’ lookalike watch tower….although I must confess the tower is not the glamorous ‘David Hasselhoff’ version of it…Day two brought us to the Old Goan quarters where astounding white churches and architectural surrealism mesmerized us at every stop…such pristine churches restored with utmost appreciation and respect for its ancestry are definitely the pride of Goa..I couldn’t have enough of wondering through the beautifully sculpted corridors and exteriors and if it wasn’t for the relentless sun I would have stayed there for the entire day…The evening was wrapped up with a lovely and lively evening by the Baga beach…sand under your feet…live music soothing your senses …and dinner at one of the happening shack cum restaurants of Baga beach.

The next day got us to the famed forts of Goa…with good views of the sea and vast expanses to explore but I guess the hot sun spoilt sport and I was happy to scurry back into our resort. And that was the ultimate ‘chillaxed’ end to the vacation….’by the beach’ received its true and complete meaning that last day at our resort..an evening spent in introducing my tiny daughter to the beach and what better an introduction than to the white soft sands of Goa and a fire red sun setting into the azure waters?? The night seemed to melt away as the winds of the beach murmured by and we devoured a sumptuous dinner staring at the waters..

And the saddest ‘last day’ syndrome did not spoil our morning splash in the waters…it was almost magical as we simply rambled along the shores….sat on little rock formations…sliding in and out of the waters…enjoying a certain lightness and freedom…..a Nirvana that can be truly attributed to elements of sun, sand, waters and old charm