Empowerment doesn’t appear on the front page of Vogue!

Yes the Vogue video is many things..the images are amazingly aesthetic….the voice of a superstar always adds the glamour quotient….the words are poetic and powerful…it is truly a Vogue special edition….

But does empowerment really wear Prada and walk the ramp? Why are the choices and ‘metrics’ of empowerment limited to simply having sex and wearing a certain kind of clothes? The choices listed out as so ‘limited’ and ‘restrictive’ and miles away from the infinite freedom referred to in the video.

Come on….it’s almost like saying..I choose to brush my teeth or not…I choose to eat my food or not…I choose to dye my hair or not…..these are not the choices that are denied nor do they define you…

There has to be a balance of sexes and where this balance is upset is when somebody has to hold the hand of the downtrodden and uplift them to that platform of equilibrium..when a choice of job and livelihood is denied because one wears a skirt….when a choice of equal pay for equal work is denied despite the fact that the ‘he’ and the ‘she’ does the same amount of work….when a choice of marriage is restricted because a ‘she’ has to pay dowry to a ‘he’…when a choice to be born a girl is denied at the time of birth…

These are the choices that are stumbling blocks and societal failures that have to be discarded for that real empowerment to strike and seep in…Its when every ‘she’ in our country can exercise her basic rights of birth, life, livelihood, marriage and movement that we can truly enjoy the infinite freedom that we all dream of!

Two years and I miss her toothless grin

It’s been two years of Nanda in our existence and our world is spinning with the changes that come along….Changes that are too fast and too pronounced……..and I miss those changes……Her baby smell that is slowly fading……Her pulpy juicy baby fat arms and legs that have given way to bony limbs….Her toothless grin being the top on that list of things missed! She is slowly and steadily losing that treasured naive innocence and inviting those age-old rascals called ego and anger.

But the nature and impact of changes in me is probably even more startling than hers……..what discipline and good behaviors that years of schooling, books and self-motivation could not do..in one stroke a child can make those miracles happen……I respond to a morning wail and cry much better than any alarm that I have subjected myself to…I can actually switch off that TV when I know she is watching it with me..I can get myself to keep back that big bar of chocolate when her outstretched arms ask for more.. I can contain my fury outbursts when she is around..I can have my meals without the presence of TV noise…I can say NO to a tempting outing if kids are not allowed..so many ‘ I cans’ that I never realized I was capable of! And the one virtue that evaded my existence and which has now come back with a vengeance is PATIENCE…that old chap definitely gets to play god in our ‘motherly’ lives.

Guess it is the natural way of things and we are but onlookers. Parenting and childhood are concepts that one never bothers to think about till you are thrown into the game..and then your hidden skills are tapped into..your erstwhile skins are shed and you embrace the moment..a moment that will never repeat in your motherhood era!  

Democracy – A day of abuse & assault

With literacy comes social progress…with more literacy comes ever greater shame as proven by the honourable members of the legislative assembly of the most literate state in the country!

They took us to the rock bottom of democracy with the budget session of a lifetime. Had I not re-confirmed that this was indeed live streaming from the ‘real’ assembly I would have definitely mistook the images from one of the regular ‘Suresh-Gopi’ kind of political cleansing movie where the politicians are painted as a ‘ruthless’ clan of animals.

And to attempt to describe the bedlam created in the middle of the state’s highest governance office is a truly difficult task – what was not done that could not be imagined?? The ‘men in white’ on a mission that went beyond all words & actions that could be termed parliamentarian – demolition of expensive computer equipment, scuffling and manhandling of a barbaric nature and utter disregard for the rules and the notions of simple civilized society let alone democracy! Interestingly the budget sessions could not be ‘chaired’ by the speaker as the physical chair itself was the first point of destruction of the parliamentarians….and the budget could definitely not be ‘tabled’ either thanks to the stomping and stampede of the ‘elected members’ on the tables of the assembly.

The poor and helpless electorate watched in horror and sheer despair as the trusted lieutenants of each constituency joined in the petty personal circus… probably that is what now redefines the working of our democracy better than the tenets of the Constitution or the laws of the land! As the lawmakers made merry breaking public and government infrastructure, what they also successfully broke were the laws of the land! As the assembly members engaged in an endless brawl, what they also successfully thrashed were the simple rules of governance! So much for inspiration and guiding light for the next generation!

AS the curtains are down over that shameful multi-act play, I await with equal curiosity and angst on what would be next steps taken by the State – How do we compensate for the destruction of government property?  How is the belief in democracy to be restored? How do we teach that important lesson to the honourable members that we are not a banana republic? If there are no answers to these questions and if indeed these members are invited back to the assembly then we must perform the last rites for the democratic system and bury whatever remains of it can be salvaged from the wreckage!

Don't Judge Me

I may be the ‘saree’ kind or the ‘skirt’ kind

But I wear my heart on my sleeve

I may be the ‘homemaker’ type or the ‘breadwinner’ type

But I ‘labour’ through my day and night

I may be the ‘yes to all’ sort or the ‘no to all’ sort

But I end up doing everything that needs to get done

I may be the ‘Calvin Klein’ shopper or the ‘mom nd pop tomato’ shopper

But there are people I value higher than my purchases

I may be the ‘masterchef’ breed or the ‘dial-a-pizza’ breed

But I believe that good thoughts provide true nourishment

I may be the ‘fair skin’ make or the ‘wheatish complexion’ make

But my ethics are much beyond than skin-deep

Don’t judge me..don’t jacket me..

I could be a little girl each time I cry myself to pulp..

I could be a daughter each time I move away from my parents..

I could be a sister each time I provide the much needed advice..

I could be a wife each time I save the last bite of the chocolate..

I could be a mother each time I clean up the mess that someone else creates..

But you will need the woman in me.. 
In every smile and every mile…
In every tear and every cheer..