The pretentious patriotism…

A strange week passed by where we celebrated our Independence Day and turned on our intermittent patriotism during the ‘highs and lows’ of India’s performance at the RIO Olympics…

On one day, we were caught cursing our sportsmen and doubting our national spirit…another eventful day where a medal was finally won... we are flying our patriotic flag high up in the air…as if each one of us put in our worth of efforts to get Sakshi her victory….suddenly she is the daughter of the nation, the first woman..and I presume there will be many takers to embrace her region, her caste, creed and other segmentation that this country runs on!

This is the shallow waters where our patriotism rests….while the drums are beating, the whole nation will support this sportswoman…awards, endorsements and many other recognition will surely come here way…few more days of euphoria and ‘the end’…the other sportspeople who toiled their years and returned without a medal would be forgotten..fading into oblivion….the lone medalists will receive a pie of the adulation for a limited time and then again comes ‘the end’..we will all go back to our neutrality of emotions..forgetting the efforts needed, the support needed and the consistent backing needed for our sportspeople to achieve what other nations achieve…we will all go back to the IPL happy to cheer the concoction of teams..we will all go back to our godly admiration for Bollywood stars…we will all go back to taking pride in the ‘IndoAmericans’  and ‘IndoEuropeans’ who make it big in the arenas of politics, sports and arts.. frantically tracing  these achievers to some Indian root that we can stake our claim on…. the dubious start and end to our patriotic fever!

And come the next Olympics, we will again believe in miracles..that one fine day, an athlete will simply erupt from poverty, from the meagre sports facilities provided, from the utter snubs that India gives her ‘non’ cricket population of sports stars and bring us glory….till then its business as usual for India!

A journey into the ruins

This trip of ours was literally on a road less travelled..less touristy and a rickety rustic ride into the ruins of Badami, Aihole and Pattadakal…As we alighted at the little railway station of Badami..there were no touristy faces around…no guides..no taxiwallahs nudging each other for business…we just boarded the little auto parked in the stand and headed to the resort that sort of sits strangely facing the main road of Badami. And the resort was a pleasant surprise for the little area that it owned..it had done full justice to the space with greenery, a nice swing, garden and topped it with pretty cottages and we started unwinding into the slow pace of Badami..

The first day we visited the famed Badami cave temple and Agasthya lake and it is a gigantic structure beyond our urban ‘technical expertise’ horizon…a massive empire of sandstone structures that tower over the entire city….and within the structures are engraved intricately crafted sculptures and temples that will astound you! And the entire campus of structures overlook a massive lake body and to think that this entire masterpiece was created centuries back! It’s a magnificent palate of colours…the green water, the brown sandstone structures that engulf the lake and the clear sky that completes the trio with its bright blue borders! And to your surprise, there are no obscene throngs of humanity visiting this place…and you are at leisure to explore the carvings, climb atop the cave temples and enjoy the massive sight of the lake and the ruins that is probably the signature of Badami heritage!  And if we weren’t relaxed enough with that , the walk through the town further enhanced the unwinding experience..tiny tots playing gleefully in the portico of the little white and green/blue Badami houses, the pig and piglet families strolling through the market ..the locals in their ‘Nehru caps’ and the ladies in their colourful attire selling their produce in the local bazaar..! A lovely luncheon with a view of Badami life and we headed to the Agasthya lake and strolled through the embankment ..aimless and agendaless…some more marvelous sandstone structures and the evening melted into the waters and the sky migrated from its bright blue to its browny pallor and we retired into the comfort of our resort..

The next day was our exploration of the archaeological structures at Aihole and Pattadakal and the route to these two locations was an enjoyable one through fields and farmlands…the real ‘cattle’ led farming that we so rarely see these days …real farmers and farmer houses ..each house boasting of its own goat or cow or both or more (depending on their prosperity I presume)..almost a funny replacement of the bike and car/(s) that dot every urban household (of course depending on their prosperity)…the ‘monsoony’ greenery and grey skies just adding to the scenic portrait.. and when we did reach our destination, we were surprised that few of the monuments were right in the middle of the village house…goats straying into the campus..kids playing on the floor of the heritage sites…an odd mix of village life and historic monumenhts at play at Aihole!  A quick visit to the beautiful complex of monuments at Pattadakal and it was time to board our train back to Bangalore.

As the sun set into the solitary railway station, the skies turned a golden brown and the village life muted into a beautiful silence and we boarded the train – a happier trio…grateful for the heritage and rural soul that still lives through at Badami…unalloyed and unpolluted…and the ‘hope’ that the urban monsters of Bangalore do not knock at the doors of Badami soon! 

Ten Years of I do and err…. ‘You Do’

Perhaps it is the overdose of Hollywood in my life that I had to cling to the ‘I do’ usage when in reality my decade of matrimony didn’t quite start with an I do..it was a more symbolic ‘regional’ golden acceptance..a simple golden knot and a floral exchange that sealed the deal.

But I think a ten year marriage is the consummation of the clichéd ‘ I do’ with a plethora of you do and the unsaid silence of  ‘why don’t you do’……yes I do and I did a zillion things since the married tagging was completed to my existence…some that I fondly remember ..some that  I probably don’t want to ever do..some for which there was no choice than to do.. some which I didn’t even realize I did…some I thought I never could do but indeed did..some that I definitively would like to do for the next decade and beyond…and I can go on.

But it also comes with torrents of resistance and unfairness that comes with becoming a wife….and many of the ‘ I do nots’ that I initiated while taking the ‘pheras’ (is there an English term for this?)..stuck with me for ten years…. many that I moved conveniently from I do to ‘you do’… many that I overcame the mighty mountains of ego and resistance to move into the elite category of ‘I do’..But fundamentally I voiced and rebelled against anything that vaguely resembled glorified ‘gender discrimination’ a.k.a. as ‘expectations of a wife’…the incredulous thought that you cease to exist as ‘you’ post that ‘sindoorification’ ceremony..the constant expectation to ‘look a wife’…the overemphasis on the woman of a household to hold fort…the timescales set by society from matrimony to motherhood!

I guess the establishment is a quirky mix of freedom and reigning in your ‘spirits’…and the days go by in the constant struggle to maintain the balance especially when the ‘reigning in’ trait starts gaining dominance in the establishment. It means to walk that extra mile to ensure your identity is not lost in the matrimonied world that you create for yourself…it means to push yourself to go out of the comfort zone that a wedding knot creates to find your own independence…it means to guard your teen spirits so that the freshness and enthusiasm of the teens do not erode with the passing of wedded times! It also means you receive an opportunity to build a journey with a like-minded individual..to see a dream together and work towards making it happen..an additional pair of ears to listen to your laments of your daily grind..an additional brain that can take over when you have a burn-out and one that could sometimes drive sense into the irrational behaviours that you unconsciously indulge in!

I guess much as you wish yourself different from the humanity of married people on the planet..some things and clichés are like ‘default applications’ that come with the installation of the ‘married’ app in one’s life….the ‘it’s your fault’ position that every man and woman takes in a marriage…the anger levels of a husband who sits in a car driven by his wife…the false exasperation of a husband when he looks at the shoe rack and the stress levels that a wait of ‘just reaching’ creates in a wife! Ten years in all honesty can probably nibble away a few of these ‘married’ traits but the magical disappearance is probably a goal for the next 10 years!

Conoor - The Good Earth

The burning desire to get away from the urban struggles and pressurized zones that we live in got me on my journey to the little hill station of Conoor – probably can be best described as the lesser- known cousin of the queen of Nilgiris – Ooty! It is truly a sleepy piece of good earth nestled into the Nilgiris and sadly dwarfed by the fame of Ooty (which is just a few kilometers away from Conoor).

And we found ourselves checking into a magnificent bungalow at Conoor…the ideal place to unwind and simply feel the lightness of nothingness…. the place itself claims itself to be of British heritage and its extraordinarily high ceilings, aesthetic furniture, rustic fireplace all probably do lend credibility to the heritage of the place. And if the indoors doesn’t embrace you in its cozy comfort, then you should step out into the beautiful expanse of greenery and flowers of the property to breathe in the views and sights of Conoor!

Words fall short when you try to recap and describe the enthralling experience of simply staring into the valley with the feeling of soft grass crunching under your feet.. the colourful medley of flowers swaying in the gentle freezy breeze of the hill station…tea estates and pine trees beautifully paling into the background to create an astounding landscape that stays with you for a lifetime!

I simply enjoyed simple acts of sipping tea on the cute benches…eating sumptuous food away from the sweaty summer of Blore city…shivering under the stars when the fog and the mist of the hills sets into the valley.. a surreal vacation that doesn’t need maps and landmarks and checkpoints to ensure completeness! But well we did take the heritage train ride (much famed and marketed) from Conoor to Ooty – and when I was not struggling and jostling for the little space to place my two feet on the ground..when there was intermittent downing of chatter of the co-passengers..I looked out of the little windows and saw the tiny stations and enjoyed the lovely views of large trees, tiny flowers…almost like an adventure out of an Enid Blyton book………and of course the vintage feeling of a steaming engine chugging along always is a sight that warms your heart!

And as we walked out into the crowded ‘concretified’ and ‘over-touristified’ city of Ooty, we were desperate to get back to the silence and greenery of Conoor…and after failed attempts to reach the famed Ooty lake, we simply boarded the next bus back to Conoor! And there was such beauty in our journey back to Ooty…winding through little Niligiri towns – untouched by the commercialism of Ooty..locals in cute sweaters…absolutely refreshing ride and we almost felt ‘home’ reaching back to Conoor!

We did try the few landmarks of Conoor but frankly the winding routes we took thrilled us more than the real ‘spots’…Conoor is blessed with such vast expanses and beautiful views of valleys, flowers, trees and tea estates..blessed to escape the concrete crusades being launched in every tourist destination worth its salt….letting the natural aura of flora and fauna to simply take over and impress its flocking tourists!

The short and cleansing stay inevitably came to an end but I promised myself a longer stay very soon as I bid goodbye to the hills, the gentle breeze and our heritage room…happy in the knowledge that good earth still exists and heaven sometimes takes a ‘hilly’ meaning! 

Three it is

So when you help blow out three candles from the little birthday cake and see a bigger and bolder version of your daughter, you realize that three is a number indeed to reckon with! And it is more a ‘coming of age’ for the mother than the daughter technically..I see it more as a progression from the third world problems of motherhood to more ‘strategic and higher’ forms of problems..You quit the sphere of nagging and tactical miseries like nappies, food, milk, sleep et al..and you grow up to deal with behavioral, development, education related problems…very ‘first world’ … higher up in the so-called value chain of motherhood!

And for the first time I was introduced to the rat race of urban schooling and it is the equivalent of a B school admission lifecycle..! It commences with the preparatory and research phase..then the tedious paperwork stage where everything has to be bared to the school authorities..your annual report, balance sheet, horoscope, ancestors, roots, region, religion…whatever it takes to impress or at the minimum receive a call for consideration for the admission process! And then the process culminates in the group discussion (outside the principal’s room) amongst the ‘newly-found awaiting admission’ fraternity of parents..the interview of a shivering, shy little being and then the final symbol of acceptance – a request for a cheque!

And you see yourself forcefully progress from the world of vaccines and theories of feed and solids to the slightly ‘up-market’ talks of syllabi..the thousand ways to raise a super-child that the internet generously bestows upon you..and the transition is not within your control..the internet, the city’s schools and parenting ‘precedence’ decide your next steps in a child’s progress! And I wonder at the weird concoction of quasi adults that play schools and play groups try to make of your innocent tots…of the fictitious rat race that you are asked to run for the sake of gaining admissions to a ‘reputed’ school (the word itself carrying different meanings to different parents and quite debatable)..the insane interviews that the world expects you to prepare your child for..but that’s when I realized that my risk and rebel streaks were slightly eroded when it comes to deciding the future of my child and I meekly surrendered to the ‘order’ of the day!

 
It is but a twisted world..where a little child is judged from her crawling speed to her vocabulary to her social skills…where she is expected to display virtues that were never present in her parents to start with…and a birthday is nothing short of a journey where you lose your little infant to the yawning ways of the world!

Long Live the 'Open Street Initiative'

The Open Street initiative yesterday was a fantabulous spectacle combined with simplicity, aesthetics and smooth coordination…for once the average migrant Bengalurean (that includes me) stopped whining about the traffic and the pot holes of the city and decided to let their hair down, put a smile to their faces and simply be part of the carnival that unfurled on MG Road!

While we see beautiful city centers and open spaces in other cities of the world where the townsmen, women and children simply congregate, do ‘their things’ or just stare at the crowds…this was the missing ‘hole’ in the Bangalore social and weekend fabric…In one stroke, that deficiency was wiped off yesterday when MG Road became the center of festivities and the real ‘open space’ that the city badly needed…and the street really kept  its word…it was truly an ‘open’ environment where everyone would have found something to engage, amuse or enjoy..the tiny stalls for the shoppers amongst us, bursts of entertainment ranging from Carnatic music to Bollywood numbers to folk performances to enthrall audiences, steady flow of food and goodies to satisfy the ‘gastro forces’ within us and of course an array of paintings for the art connoisseur in us!

While I went to simply explore and satisfy my curiosity..once I landed in the milieu of Bangaloreans…I was truly amazed at the large turnout of Bangaloreans…the sheer magnitude and masses who had come out of their Sunday laziness to participate in the revelry was a real measure of the enthusiasm quotient of Bangaloreans and we definitely did each other proud! The usually deserted and dusty metro and BMTC buses got their share of limelight last evening and I witnessed a ‘near Mumbai local’ environment at the Bangalore Metro!  

Overall, it was a one-of-its kind parade and despite the cruel afternoon heat and the jostling crowd, the celebrations couldn’t have escaped you, the art and beauty around couldn’t have not entertained you and surely you would have paid a tiny tribute to the spirit of Bengalore as you waved goodbye to the open street!